If you could do it all over again, would you go at music differently? Would you play some other instrument? Not play one at all? Sing?
I think about this sometimes because of my kids. What can I do for them? What should I do for them, in the music realm.
I'm not for pushing the kids. In part, it's based on my experience. I didn't need a lot of pushing and didn't get it either, at least from my parents. I can't see turning your kid into a Mozart.
I have one simple goal for most of decisions with the kids and it's kinda lame. I want life to be as normal as possible. What's normal? I don't know exactly. It isn't that they need to cushioned from difficultly but I also rarely see the benefit to unneeded difficulty. For example, I don't see much value in "building character." I don't even see how you do that.
If my kid has talent and drive then maybe s/he can be Mozart, but failing that, it won't change my love for them.
I think that if I did it again I would have not played an instrument. I know, some of you would debate that the drums/percussion is not an instrument. I am not sure if the drums helped shape me into the person I am today. I think there was pressure for me to play something since everyone before me did.
ReplyDeleteI do wish I read more books. I saw on the TV about reading helps kids learn to be more talkative and descriptive.
"what did you do today?"
"nothin" (continue playing Atari)
I would take more singing lessons, sing more in chorus/choir, etc. I would have done more drama. We didn't really have those options as OHS had stopped a lot of the musicals etc due to budgetary considerations.
ReplyDeleteI'd have played more instruments. I often wish I could play guitar, bass, piano or yes, even drums - which are not only musical but athletic.
I also wish I listened to more live music. I talk to people in my group of friends now who talk about all these cool shows they saw growing up around here. I saw some great shows - Bruce Springsteen, Damn Yankees, U2 - but I didn't see a lot of the bands that came through the colleges here that I listen to even now like Mighty Mighty Bosstones, Morphine, Live, Pearl Jam.
I read a lot growing up, and I've been told I'm pretty talkative.
I don't read so much now, by the way. That's something I'm trying to do now, read a little more.
ReplyDelete"I saw on TV" LOL. That was pretty funny. Leave it to TV to inform you of the value of reading.
ReplyDeleteThe big benefit to music teaching at that age (and younger) is that it does influence your brain development. Even if you don't go anywhere with it. Or if you did it out of pressure. Learning music and languages before the age of 10/11 causes your brain to lay down patterns that you can't really change later in life. At least, that was a theory at one time. It explains why people who have that experience have an easier time with that stuff at a later age.
As for pressure, I can see where that might have come into it. But really, in some ways, didn't we all essentially go to school at all because of pressure? I mean if your parents and society left it to kids, they wouldn't go to school at all.
Echoing kid-rolla. I think her gist, if I can say that in polite company, is that the experience could have been a little more about music in the real world, rather than about dead guys and composers imitating dead guys?
ReplyDeleteI don't know, what is your nub? your gist? the main thrust of your intent?
I "had" to take piano lessons for 8 years. The first opportunity I had to quit (age 16) I was done. It wasn't so much that I didn't like the piano, I did and still do. The problem was that all my various teachers, except one, never let me play anything of my choice. I had one teacher that let me have one piece that I picked at any point in time. That was my first teacher. From then on, I wanted that but could never get it. She also was worked on playing by ear - something I really wanted to do when I was older. Sure, I could have done it on my own, but I didn't. Probably becuase I already had enough practicing to do.
ReplyDeleteSo the upshot is, I wish the teachers had been a bit more tuned in to keeping me more motivated by throwning me a bone once in a while.
Also, I've always been happy that I can read music. That was worthwhile.
I could see myself starting to play again some day when I have more free time.
I got no gist.
ReplyDeleteI sing now, but my range is limited, especially that I don't sing that often. If I had taken more singing lessons when I was younger I'd be better at singing now, and possibly even have done more in that arena.
Looking back with my perfect hindsight, I can see what I'd have done more of.
I love the classics. I loved playing flute in band, especially the orchestra or whatever you call it. I loved learning coronet when I was a Jr.
Bro, is the gist of your question, if you could change something in your past that would change something you don't like about yourself now what would it be?
Mine has nothing to do with music. I'd have made it a point to learn to exercise for the sake of exercise and not be so lazy when given the chance.
I'd have learned how to avoid procrastinating.
I'd have loved the opportunity to do stuff that would have been super cool as an adult, like seeing Pearl Jam before they started selling tickets for $60 a pop.
Ok I'm rambling without a gist to this post either. I'm tired. I had a long day.
For me I look back on my music career with great fondness and appreciation. I loved singing in chorus, I loved playing the coronet. I liked going to the musicals and performing in some. I like the fact that I know some shot tunes and songs from L'il Abner, Anything Goes, Bye Bye Birdie, Oklahoma, H.M.S. Pinafore and others. I will someday see Guys and Dolls. I think that I had just about the right amount of music. But doing it over again I do wish now though that I had a trumpet instead of the coronet. I wish I had a more brilliant sound that I think would have come with the trumpet. I might have played in the pit band as well. The shit band in the stands at football games was the best though.
ReplyDeleteWell, sure. When you say it like that.
ReplyDeleteThat's a great sounding experience. I liked band a lot. I think, because I was fairly serious about the whole thing, it did occasionally create some stress.
In general, I wish the music experience had been a little more "Uncle George." It could have been more about fun and communal enjoyment and a little less about the typical band experience. Not that it was all bad.
The chorus, the musicals, those were fun.
I learned a lot in high school that I still use today. In fact, pretty much all of it. But I was an actual professional musician so that served me in a way that it would not serve others.
I agree with BroJo. The stands during a game was the best. I always tried to sit near the horns. They were always being silly.
ReplyDeleteNow that I'm more awake, I can say the following with some conviction:
It's hard to apply the stuff I did in high school to what I do now. Unless it's a rock band scenario which is the avenue I chose. This is what prompts the wish that I could also play an instrument and not just sing.
Opportunities to play music, or participate in drama are limited to a. Playing with people who are even more amateur than I am or b. Playing with people who are well beyond my knowledge/technical skills. This could have to do with my self-confidence issues. Maybe I am closer to either a or b than I'd like to admit.
Hey Kid what about options c.Playing with people who are even LESS amateur than I am or d. Playing with people who are well BELOW my knowledge/technical skills. You might be giving the credit to the wrong peeps.
ReplyDeleteIf looking back and changing things with the knowledge I have now and how it does/doesn't affect what I do now. I would drop band and have done the A/V route instead.
I was refering to music. I did call the post instruments but having it traverse into other areas is fine.
ReplyDeleteI don't have a lot of regrets. I have what I would consider tweaks. I'd sing and play more. I'd have focused less on being a good supporting player and more on just having fun, entertaining people, expressing myself.
Band was fun. I loved marching band in college too. I used to brag that I was one of the best sousaphone players ever. The joke being that no one would really ever CLAIM to be a sousaphone player. It's not as legit as the tuba.
Reading your posts was even more fun than writing my own. I could push my own kids more with respect to music but I just don't see the point. And this thread has essentially validated that choice, which is nice.
But Big Brother, I think that we are who we are.. or let me say, I am who I am, and music is a part of me. I wouldn't be the person I am today, without it. It is one part of my past along with many others which have shaped me into the person I am today. I am not sure what you mean about pushing your kids in music. You said yourself that as a parent part of your job is to push your kids.
ReplyDelete"I mean if your parents and society left it to kids, they wouldn't go to school at all."
I think you have pushed them a little al ready, nes pas?
Pushing them to try to turn them into a Mozart is extreme though I would agree.
Maybe I'm splitting hairs with the words push and pressure. The fav was referring to feeling "pressure" to play the drums. That's generally a negative recollection. Maybe it wouldn't matter to use the word push there.
ReplyDeleteBut it occurred to me, in reading that comment, that kids are pressured in some way to go to school. Some like it, but most wouldn't go. We send them for mostly one reason: in the long run, it will be good for them.
Music, to a certain degree, might be good for you in the long run, too. But it doesn't come without a cost, at least in some people, of feeling unwanted pressure. And that might be negative.
The corollary of this is that somehow we have a perfect picture of how kids will turn out and how to make that happen. I don't see evidence of that so it would appear that, at best, we play odds.
Thas all I'm sayin'.